Anxiety: Hope, Help, and a Personal Journey
I have personally suffered from anxiety my whole life. Questions like, “Am I good enough?” “Do people like me?” “Did I say the right thing?” burn through my head every day; sometimes it feels like every moment of the day.
Many times, all of these thoughts overwhelm me. The constant internal dialogue, flawed as it may be, consumes a great deal of my time and my life. The questions I ask myself are more than just those that are noted above, and are examples of the way that I internally process, think and problem solve. Right or wrong, for a very long time, my anxiety, and the negative/unrealistic expectations that I have set for myself and others have proven to disappoint me time and time again.
Anxiety feels like a fight that you are constantly having within yourself. Sometimes, before I even interact with anyone, I am already overanalyzing what to say, what to do, how to react; the list goes on and on. No wonder why the feelings of sheer emotional exhaustion hit, sometimes before I even leave the house in the morning.
Why? Why do I do this to myself? Why do I worry about everything?
It could be many things. A person who is anxious worries about many situations; situations that have not occurred and may never occur, and usually in a way that leads to the “worst case scenario”, catastrophe, or “all or nothing” thinking. We have already played out every scenario (realistic or completely untrue) for whatever might face us that day, and whether that is the reality of the situation or not, we have already made up our minds about how it will play out. The mind is constantly racing, as if a bear is chasing after you and never quite catches up, but is always right behind you. Anxiety feels like a trap.
I can continue to describe the feelings of anxiety all day long; the panic, the racing heart, the knotted stomach, the shortness of breath, the agitation, but what is the solution? That’s the part that can be tricky, frustrating, and feels unknown, especially in the midst of it all.
The really awesome thing about anxiety is that it doesn’t have to control you or define who you are. It does take time, and it’s not always comfortable or easy, but with patience and practice, some of that weight can be lifted. There are many different strategies, coping skills, and methodologies that can help.
And, just because you practice one, and it doesn’t work right away, doesn’t mean that you can’t keep practicing, or practice something different or additional.
Here are a few (with more to come.)
Deep Breathing: Sit down, close your eyes, keep your feet flat on the floor and take a slow deep breath in and a slow deep breath out. Relax your neck, shoulders, and sit up straight.
Focus on your breathing. Practice. It can be difficult not to let your mind wander, but you can do it.
Identify what triggers your anxiety: Is it a time of day, is it a person you need to interact with, is it an event/situation? It may be helpful to write it down
Break it down: What is the task at hand? What steps can be broken down into smaller, more manageable steps?
Positive Self talk: You can do this! You are worth it! You are supported! You are valuable!
